女权主义者的性欲观（读书笔记：杰茜卡瓦伦蒂：《正面全裸的女权主义》）我一直以为，女权主义者都是些身穿男性西装剪着男人发型叼着香烟不刮腋毛的中性人，直到读了瓦伦蒂这本《正面全裸的女权主义》。现在才明白过来，原来女权主义者也是有七情六欲的！不仅如此，她们的欲望比普通女性更直白，更强势，更利己。瓦伦蒂用了整整一个章节来阐述女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更擅长干那事（以及其它关于性的提示）FEMINISTS DO IT BETTER (AND OTHER SEX TIPS)》。她开宗明义就自我标榜“我在床上比你行，而这得归功于女权主义。”(I'm better in bed than you are. And I have feminism to thank for it.)现代男权社会对女人有一种自相矛盾的双重标准：一方面，女人在白天接受“守贞教育”，晚上则在电视上看到“女孩也疯狂”的广告。一方面，女孩被教导说婚前性行为是不对的，另一方面又告诉你，你若想成为一名春假辣妹，你赶紧对着镜头宽衣解带吧！(When you're getting abstinence-only education during the day and Girls Gone Wild commercials at night, it's not exactly easy to develop a healthy sexuality. You're taught that sex before marriage is bad bad bad, but that if you want to be a springbreak hottie, you'd better start making out for the camera.)守贞教育家是这么来教育女孩子的：“你们的身体就是一根棒棒糖。当你们与男人发生性关系时，他剥去你的糖衣，含吮起来。当时可能感觉不错，可遗憾的是，他与你完事后，你们留给下一位伴侣的就是衣冠不整，口水臭味的残渣。”("Your body is a wrapped lollipop. When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it. It may feel great at the time, but unfortunately, when he's done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker. ")够耸人听闻的。不过女权主义者不吃这一套。瓦伦蒂提出的口号是：“我的处女膜我做主！(Our Hymens, Ourselves )”她说：“我从未闹明白处女贞操有什么大不了，真的。我的贞操在中学时代就被一名男朋友没怎么费劲就夺去了。我们后来还约会了好几年呢。我还以为会有什么异样的感觉呢，没有。我总觉得这种把处女贞操当成如花似玉一回事很愚蠢。所以你可以想象，当我发现自己原来是被用过即弃的垃圾时有多愕然。”(I have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity. Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel different—I didn't. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was just a used-up piece of trash without it.)我比较纳闷的是，女权主义者总体上是鄙夷男人的。可是在处理自己的情欲时，她们对男人的态度显然又是另一番风景。诚然，她们与男人上床，再也不是为了讨好男人，更不是为了繁衍后代，而纯粹是为了自己的愉悦。用瓦伦蒂露骨的话，就是：一边做女权主义者，一边啪啪啪！(f***ing while feminist ！)只是，面对一位性欲如此高涨态度如此强势的女权主义床伴，哪一位小男人消受得起？
Having the basics—a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good food, and good sex—is most important, and those things don’t get much better when you have a lot ofmoney or much worse when you have less.
First tell you those people I talked.I guess you thought I had flirted with them.Actually I didn't .I have a lot of interests,so I know a lot of people who have same interest with me.But I only talked about those professional knowledge with them,not the topic of sex.If you only meant I don't talk with them about sex or love or something like that,I'm ok with that.But if what you meant is I can't talk with any other male ,I'm afraid that I can't do it.Everyone has his own social circle.I won't give up my normal life for you.
First is economics. Depends on the common theory of economics. All the discrimination in recruitment is just unbalance between requirements and supplements. It means 300 thousands. graduates Just 30 jobs vacancies. Its like if you show love to the goddess but be refused. It's so common. Goddess just only one. However your competitors are too more.
And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special than those one meets at the bottom or in between.
I did some research to persuade myself. Then I found It's no need to have these negative feelings. Be refused by Discrimination is a common thing. If we embrace discrimination. We'll live better. i will share with you three books.
”她说：“我从未闹明白处女贞操有什么大不了，真的。我的贞操在中学时代就被一名男朋友没怎么费劲就夺去了。我们后来还约会了好几年呢。我还以为会有什么异样的感觉呢，没有。我总觉得这种把处女贞操当成如花似玉一回事很愚蠢。所以你可以想象，当我发现自己原来是被用过即弃的垃圾（或棒棒糖）时有多愕然。”(I have never really understood what the big deal was about virginity. Really. Mine was lost without a great deal of fanfare to a high school boyfriend whom I dated for several years afterward. I expected to feel different—I didn't. The whole precious-flower-virginity thing always seemed silly to me. So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was just a used-up piece of trash (or candy) without it.)
When I was faced with types of situations I had encountered before, I drew on the principles I had learned for dealing with them.
After my ex boy friend broke up with me .It hurt me a lot.I suffered the depression.My families still don't know nowdays.A lot of times I wanted to kill myself.In a snow night,I went outside feeling nothing is worth to make me stay and wanted to end my life.When I walked down the road to a streetlight,I found an amazing scene.It looked so beautiful that the snowflakes were flying under the light.It is the most beautiful thing in the world at that time.I want to say it saved my life .I told my myself," as long as there are still beautiful thing existing,even if there is only one,It's worth keeping me living in this world."So I didn't do that stupid thing.
Third is psychology. What if you are Human Resources. What if you need select 30 best from 300 thousands graduates quickly? Maybe you have the same solution. In order to choose the best. So if you are refused. Just means you are not best. No discrimination. It's just a rule. Have you ever doubt your abilities when you are refused? It's not excellent is true. But we should comfort ourselves like a great friend. Not too harsh and strict.Then we became confident to embrace discrimination. We will be rational to deal anything. Trust ourselves. yes we can. If you Failed.just try one more time. Like me never get best prepared speaker in our club. But I insist on trying. Maybe in the future I will will be the best. It doesn't matter. Trying one more time can make me more brave. growth needs try one more time. Maybe you will reach your goal. Like yuminhong. 25 times worst loving experience. 3 times failures in college entrance examinations. But embrace discrimination made him entering peak university. And be the CEO of Xindongfang. We can say. Dream it. And get it. Un
瓦伦蒂用了整整一个章节来阐述女权主义的性欲观。标题是《女权主义者更擅长干那事（以及其它关于性的提示）FEMINISTS DO IT BETTER (AND OTHER SEX TIPS)》。
You are a doctor.you must know the technical term"avoidant attachment".I am this type.I do want to be loved and a relationship.But I don't have any confidence. I don't know how to love people expecially in a relationship. I can't overcome my personality defects.So I think people like this would better to be single,otherwise both will be hurt.I do like you,but I just can't fall in love you .That is my problem.I don't know how to love people.I have no ability to deal with relationship well.
I was angry. Depressed for a long time. Then I found It was so common in any recruitment information. We were refused Again and again. The Human Resources said. We need have a famous university education background. 985 211 postgraduate or doctors. They said. You never met female engineers. All right? So sorry.they also said we dont need male nurse. So sorry. Too fat. So ugly of your resume. We need long leg.all the bias keep some excellent person out the door. Then they are depressed and not confident even they begin to doubt their abilities.ba afraid of trying one more time. Did you have the same feelings before?
够耸人听闻的。不过女权主义者不吃这一套。瓦伦蒂提出的口号是：“我的处女膜我做主！(Our Hymens, Ourselves )
（对于之前没遇见的新问题，不会感到痛苦。因为发现，即使那些问题，之前我没遇见过，其他人也会遇到过。所以作者特别尊重历史，渴望了解现实到底是怎么运行的，并渴望建立永恒和普遍的原则来处理它。）（简而言之：认识现实的真面目，并建立 普遍的原则去处理它， 普遍或许可以理解为 合适的 正确的 ）
Now I am going to say a long story about me.I really hope you could read it.
Second is history. Elite university found great job, and non-elite university was refused.those poor guys didn't get great better career path, really? Let's look at this picture. Ten years ago, most graduates from 985 211 got the offer of ericson a famous international mobile phone enterprise. It's champagne in the international position. Like apple today. But the other graduates not in 985.211 entered alibaba which main business is selling shoots. Times went on. Alobaba is an ideal company. Now all the 985 211 joined BAT, you are refused. It doesn't mean you are loser. You also have the chance to live better. I remember one sentences. Nothing is so bad but might be a blessing. it's wisdom. So Embrace discrimination is what we can do best.
Then I'm going to tell you those men who said love me.Indeed they said that ,but it is ture or not is quite a different matter.I'm not interested in them.
Dear fellow toaster masters. How many times your resume was rejected? What's the main reason? Several months ago. After paying my tmc fees. I have no money to buy something on November 11. my poor pockets. And So i made a big decision. Change the job. Then i refreshed resume. Borrowed technical books. One day i Received an interview call. The lady said. Do you want to change your job? I said. Yes. Can you tell me your excepted salary? So open. I like. You must know the standards. So you made. When i heart the salary i wes suprised. Then pretend so calm to answer any questions. In the end. He Said: last but not least. When will you want a baby? So straight. I don't like now. Maybe this year. Then we close this interview conversation as soon as possible. after that. All the interviews were interrupted by the same question.